It wasn’t on purpose,
she saw that.
It was her fault
and she shouldn’t have said it, and now
Could her body go on taking
the bruising;
Her soul
the battering,
And her heart
the fear?
He smiled his forgiveness
and said he wouldn’t do it
again and again and again,
But she really should have done
what he’d spoken, ‘DO
NOT PROVOKE ME!
She walked to the shops
her head hung low
the pram ahead
and for a while
she almost felt
she belonged.
Carol stopped
and asked,
‘If
she
was
ok?’
She mumbled something about falling
down the front steps
and said a hasty, goodbye.
He hated her talking to
another. She had bruises
to prove it.
She looked at the grocer’s window
and saw the picture of herself
looking back at her
in amongst the fruit and veg
‘I am a fool twice over
but where can I go?’
she said to the child.
She shopped quickly and turned back home
soon she would be safe indoors
and nothing would go wrong,
nothing would make him cross
today, ‘Oh please God, help me!’
She thought as she saw
he was watching
from the window
that look on his face,
that leaflet in his fist.
She suddenly turned and ran
back up the street,
the pram wobbling and bobbing
and Carol
was there,
and they spoke
quietly,
‘It is not your fault,
it is not your fate
we can change this
we have a safe place
for you
and your child
where
he cannot go
and the police
will listen to you.’
She saw a black hole opening
up in front of her.
He would find her
He would beat her
And no one but him really cared.
She wheeled the pram back
to what she knew,
the bruises on her arms and chest
burning and her heart
knocking, knocking, knocking.
She’d face his temper,
but this time her screams
were heard
and she watched him
still threatening
handcuffed away.
He’d be back, he said.
Carol helped her pack
and drove her to
the shelter,
a place
where she could
recollect
herself
and
learn to smile again
and her child too.
0808 801 0800 Wales helpline 0808 2000 247 national
